You are your worst enemy. You are also your best friend.

November 2015 waktu mau ikut Race pertama kali, rasanya gak ada beban. Yang penting selesai sampe finish dapet medali trus hepi. Gak kepikiran pace sama sekali. Since then, I worked hard to improve performance. In every race selalu berusaha dpt PB personal best maupun poto banyak. Mulai deh kepikiran perbaiki pace biar makin hari makin cakep catatan waktunya.

Akhirnya confident enough to sign up for 10K, which I did just fine. Again since itu race 10K pertama, gak ada beban mikirin catatan waktu. Yang penting girang dan again race bling. Udah berencana tahun 2017 akan jadi waktu koleksi medali 10K dan gak lagi cuma main di 5K.

Apa daya di awal tahun 2017 saya didera sakit bertubi-tubi. Yang paling parah adalah asma+sinus di pertengahan bulan Maret dan gejala tifus di bulan April. Gejala tifus yang ini gak main2 karena ini kali kedua saya terserang gejala tifus dalam kurun kurang dari setahun. Jadi harus istirahat total sebelum jadi tifus beneran.

Ya sudah lah saya harus nurut sama badan sendiri. It's telling me to rest. So rest I did.

Hari ini saya kembali ke jalan untuk jalan+lari. Target saya bisa tuntas 5K no matter the pace, no matter the time. Why? Krn saya akan race hari Minggu nanti. Kembali lagi hanya di kategori jarak 5K. Mulai lagi dari awal. Dan ternyata tadi selesai 5K. Jangan ditanya pace saya hehehe.. Menyedihkan...

What I learned from this adalah... Ternyata jauh lebih sulit kembali merangkak naik setelah jatuh tersungkur. Bukan saja secara fisik tapi juga secara mental. It's much tempting to give up karena ada pride involved. Sepanjang lari tadi mikir, ya elah pathetic begini larinya why do I even bother? Butuh wkt berapa lama kembali ke pace 7.30-7.40?? Dulu aja bbrp bulan baru nyampe segitu, trus skrg mulai lagi gitu? Cari penyakit...

Tapi terus teringat kuku jari kaki yang udah copot 3 kali dan semplak sampe sekarang. Tumbuhnya cuma setengah itu aja masih suka cenut2 hahaha.. Masa si kuku semplak for nothing? Pengorbanannya perlu dihormati.

Teringat janji pada sendiri setiap ultah harus dirayakan dengan berlari, karena lari makes me feel deeply connected to my father who was also a runner in his much younger days but in despair now karena kakinya sudah terlalu sakit untuk berjalan apalagi berlari. So I wanna celebrate my birthday by always remembering my father. When I run, I run with him because when he said to me he missed running, I told him I would run for him.

Teringat teman yang sudah meninggal akibat kanker sebelum kami sempat menunaikan janji untuk lari bareng. We made that promise on her last chemotherapy session. I still owe her.

And running has given me so much more about life lessons. Through running also I have made great friends yang sampe skrg blm pernah ketemu tapi selalu saling dukung. You know who you are, guys... Salah satunya bahkan jadi coach virtual saya... Makasih banyak ya, Coach..

So I won't give up. I can't. I have run too far to turn back. So biar pace kayak siput, biar banyakan selipan jalan daripada lari, biar penampakan kayak tikus got kecemplung air comberan abis lari... I won't be stopped. And this Sunday Insya Allah saya siap menambah satu lagi koleksi medali saya.

Running again from zero, siapa takut...

#runopinrun

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